Hands Off
by sirensoundwave
Summary: Neutral doesn't mean passive nor without feeling. Someone is not very happy when they see a rival's attempt to steal their lover. This piece of insanity put Thor in an awkward position, shows Loki in another light and reveals the brothers' family tree is more interesting than everyone thought. Playing with the order of events at the end of the Avengers movie.


So...anybody know how to keep plot bunnies from escaping? Anyone? Fences don't mean shit to them apparently. Also the doc manager on this site is retarded _

NOTE:

For the first time, I am using my Chaos Mage concept to connect fandoms without either of my OCs. Sagittarius is my version of Roy Harper/Red Arrow from Young Justice. He is several star cycles (millions of years) younger than his twin brothers Castor (Klarion the Witchboy) a dark mage and Pollux (Wally West/KidFlash) a light mage. He is a neutral, a bit of an odd ball seeing as most mages are either light or dark affinity. Darks are generally loosely wrapped bags of crazy. Lights tend to be pleasant until you annoy them. But exceptions do exist.

For anyone not reading Parallels, Sagittarius has pretty much the opposite persona of the character he plays as Roy. His attitude is bad but it takes a lot to get him to actually show his anger. His voice rarely has much inflection and he often wears a blank expression...as if he's bored all the time. Think Mai from Avatar the Last Airbender. That said, if he's yelling at you, you're already kinda screwed.

This song is older than I am but I was reminded of it when the movie Once Bitten (also older than me...), was playing on a random tv in my house when Avengers was playing in the room I was half awake in a while ago. Here's Hands Off by Maria Vidal.

*HO*

Hulk was just about to deliver a crippling blow to Loki as he tried to crawl away. Hulk smash puny god good!

When a shadow knocked the big guy into a building two blocks away.

Tony could only blink dumbly as the green blur sailed past him much faster than he had flown in on his way to investigate the downed trickster. This wasn't good. Loki had managed to drive Hulk back only by blasting with his staff. Said staff now lay far from his reach. He looked to be in no condition to retrieve it anyhow.

But a mystery ally that could bitch slap Big Green like the hand of god right into yesterday would definitely complicate things. More so than the fleet of alien invaders.

/Wait...did I just quote Godsmack? How obscure it that!?/

"What the fuck?!" Hawkeye exclaimed. He was the one closest to the impact site. Hulk wasn't making any move to get up, only groaning like that really hurt. Face screwed up in that expression we all get when we injure ourselves beyond our pain threshold.

The 'hand of god' belonged to a figure draped in a black cloak. A bit shorter than Loki, the figure seemed to shrink even more once they stopped levitating to kneel by the injured god. The latter open his mouth to speak only to be silenced by a tan finger. The same hand then offering gentle caress to his bloody cheek.

"I know babe." The stranger gave a wry chuckle that confirmed their gender as male. "Poor thing."

Okay. That's great.

Ally, not so much. Boyfriend, seems way more likely.

Well shit.

Someone loves that schizophrenic psy-

/What is up with me?/ Tony took a defensive stance.

"JARVIS any idea who just showed up tardy to the party?"

"No sir. However the new arrival is radiating a similar energy signature to Thor and Loki."

"More trouble from Asgard huh?"

"Perhaps not sir."

Walking along the demolished street, this guy was not concerned with the Chitauri forces turning their attention to him. Three riders surged, weapons blasting deadly energies. The charges coming in contact with something that shimmered white as the force dispersed across it's convex surface. Undaunted, the aliens continued to fire.

"Fuck off." He held out his hand and a beautiful golden archery bow materialized in his grip. He swept that one hand wide and the three riders became six pieces. The bow tips were apparently blades. He continued on his way to stand directly under the slowly growing portal. A matching arrow appearing in his free hand to be nocked and aimed straight up.

"This should be interesting..." Stark thought absently. He didn't know he was the only one able to hear the new guy.

"Hey you shovel-faced dipshit! Stop being a creepy perv! Keep your hands and mind raping powers to yourself!" With that final shout, the arrow flew towards the gate, morphing from a thin line to a broad beam of light.

A deafening boom sounded once the projectile hit it's target, rocking the area and forcing the Avengers to take refuge from falling debris.

By the time everyone had their wits back, they found themselves dodging the sudden downpour of alien soldiers and whale...ship...thingies. Only then did anybody notice the portal was gone.

So were Loki and their savior.

Aboard the helicarrier, Fury and the council were blinking dumbly at each other. Neither sure what to say after all shadowy faces on the screens had been moments away from giving the order to turn Manhattan into Hiroshima to the Nth degree when the stranger showed up and shut that tesseract shit down.

"..."

"So, am I back in charge now?"

"..."

"Council?" Nick raised the brow of his good eye.

"..."

"Silence won't accomplish-"

"Find them. Now. Something that powerful cannot go unchecked." A male voice snapped before the feeds all cut out.

"Well, that was rude. Even for those stuffed shirts." The Director slowly massaged his temples, wondering if pain killers or a stiff drink would best head off the coming migraine. "Here we go..."

Several days passed before the Big Apple got anywhere close to normal operation. Residents weren't bothered by the fact that there was now definitive, irrefutable proof of alien life so much as that the proof was all over the place and messing with their daily commute. This made clean up rather interesting.

The transit systems bounced back in 24 hours. That's it. One day after abandoning their buses and running for their lives, drivers were once again navigating the traffic jungle heedless of dead aliens, crushed vehicles and other assorted particularly shrewd veteran civil servants found it simpler to drive over the Chitauri than around them.

Cyclists weaving through crews trying to haul away corpses were especially a hazard. They were either constantly getting clotheslined or just plowing into unsuspecting workers at 20 mph. Then screaming about the "government clowns" messing up their route.

Throughout all this, SHIELD remained tight lipped to the media. In an official statement, the agency merely said that the incident had been dealt with and the populous had nothing to fear. The invaders were no longer a threat.

While having no idea if that was true or not.

So it stands to reason that the newly formed Avengers would still be on high alert since the instigator of the whole crisis was MIA. It wouldn't be for three weeks that they got any answers on that front. Unfortunately no one anticipated how...confusing those answers would be.

Late one night, Tony was awakened by JARVIS. The inventor fell asleep reviewing files from his father's heyday while in the lab. Files that Fury probably had no idea he'd 'obtained'.

"You may wish to hear this sir."

"Wha?" He mumbled while wiping drool from his chin. The audio from surveillance filtering through his brain got his full attention in a hurry though.

[That was for not noticing something was wrong you great oaf!]

Loki was in the tower?!

"JARVIS, where's the video?"

"My cameras do not seem to be functioning in that particular room. I am able to confirm from voice recognition the presence of Thor, Loki and the mysterious ally from the attack."

[Brother be reasonable. I admit your behavior was slightly off but I merely thought you'd grown bored as you often do. I assumed you took a page from the Great Puck's book. We so rarely get to interact with mortals it seemed like fun for once. Meeting Lady Jane was a most fortuitous benefit.] Thor sounded as if he were trying to justify himself instead on the other way around.

WHAM!

Now in pain, if the groaning was any indication.

[You blew your obviously unwell brother off for the remote chance at diddling a human woman? Really T? That is the absolute definition of being a dick head.] That voice was new. Somewhat monotone yet able to drip with sarcasm. It reminded Tony of the mystery archer from the day before too... [Ass. Thanos has been perving on him since forever and doesn't understand the words 'not interested' or 'go fuck yourself'. Or 'stay out of my head' apparently'.]

[Yes well I'm sure he gets it now. An affinity charged arrow to the groin would convey your sentiments quite well.] Loki snorted.

[Thanos IS a guardian not a mage. Should he not be...well wiser?] Thor sounded like he was getting up off the ground.

The resulting silence was oppressive.

[Mighty Uncle Vishnu, fucking head case. Decided to break the only rules we live by because 'perfection is above limits' and turned his reality into an irreparable void.] Mr. Monotone scoffed.

[Infallible Uncle Yahweh, threw a tantrum of epic proportions that left his reality with no real anchor, all manner of creatures running unchecked further destabilizing it, and two mages determined to slaughter each other.] Loki recited dryly.

"JARVIS, what the hell am I listening to?!"

"It appears Loki and Thor's family is much more unconventional than first assumed."

[Hey Tinman, eavesdropping is rude. If you have questions, come ask us not your glorified SIRI program.]

Tony immediately ran to wake up the other 3, nearly getting killed twice by high strung assassins. The sight that awaited them didn't make sense.

Their resident god of thunder was sitting on the floor with a foot shaped print on the left side of his face. Across from him, his wanted brother. Curled up in the lap of a redhead with dull green eyes. A redhead wearing the same cloak from almost a month ago.

"Yo."

"What the hell is that bastard doing here?!" Natasha wasted no time whipping out her side arm. Thor briefly wondered where in her rather revealing black nightie she'd been hiding the weapon before opening his mouth but...

"I imagine recovering from being drop kicked in the jaw Ms. Romanoff." Red replied without so much as a hint of fear. "I'm Sagittarius, the answer to the question you should have asked by the way."

"Uh huh. Well right now you're trespassing. Not to mention aiding and abetting." Steve frowned.

"Too bad someone stole any fucks I had to give flag boy." He shrugged. "Besides, what kind of person would I be if I just let the not-so-jolly green giant beat my defenseless match silly."

"Flag boy!?" The first avenger sputtered indignantly.

"Oh I am sooo using that." One guess who said that.

"Well excuse me and the other guy for trying to stop a threat to humanity." Banner huffed.

"Defenseless my ass." Natasha spat.

"Wait...match?" Clint frowned.

"Oh yes that's right...you don't know. Even though somebody was supposed to open his THUNDEROUS maw BEFORE getting you all involved in something that wouldn't have happened at ALL if he hadn't been more interested in getting to the bottom of some mortal WENCH than his own twin's irrational behavior!" Loki leaned forward, voice rising with each word till he was practically screaming. Straining against Sagittarius' grip on his waist.

"Back up, you guys are twins? I thought-" Tony tried to interject.

"You're not going to let this lie are you?" Thor groaned.

"Is Jotenhiem not a frozen wasteland?"

"By the Allfather brother I am sorry! Yes I am at fault. But I should think our father should bear some blame! He noticed nothing as well!"

"Way to pass the buck. Yeah Odin is just as stupid as you were. But he isn't the one who didn't notice Loki's eyes were the wrong color."

"No but he was willing to chuck me in the dungeons to rot once returned."

"Awe baby, you're so cute when you pout. No wonder shovel face can't get over you. Too bad you're MINE."

About then, the hamsters running everyone's brain wheels had a mild seizure. Well, Stark's just tripped over itself before slowly getting back up to speed.

"WHAT THE FUCK?!" They all yelled as Tony rubbed his face. He was more annoyed with being ignored than anything at this point.

"I believe the floor is yours dear brother." The god of mischief smiled wickedly.

"I'll bet they're dying to know."

"You surely jest."

"Don't call me Shirley. Make with the 'xplainey Thunderbutt."

*tbc?*

Random, I know.

So, didja catch the other fandoms mentioned?

Puck: Guardian of the Gargoyles Reality from Facade. Mages: Oberon and Titania.

Vishnu: Asshole invading the Young Justice Reality in Parallels. Mages: Kali and Shiva.

Yahweh: little harder cuz I have no story to reference; Guardian of the Supernatural TV show's Reality. Mages: Michael and Lucifer.

This is supposed to be a oneshot but that depends on how much you guys wanna see Thor twist in the wind n_n

Reviews are like hugs! Sirensoundwave out.


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